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illumnus:

Apple juice is just apple blood. Or apple pee. Whichever floats your fancy. 

(via iamthewhitegirl)


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tresantes:

fruit salad 

*deep voice* yummy yummy

(via fake-mermaid)


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antifrick:

when i say ‘the other day’ it could mean anything from last week to 6 years ago

(via fake-mermaid)


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Wake up every morning and tell yourself that you’re a badass bitch from hell and that no one can fuck with you and then don’t let anybody fuck with you. Kate Nash’s advice to college students  (via piink-sugar)

(Source: morganmarguerite, via piink-sugar)


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asian:

asian:

so im shopping for make up for the girlfriend bc valentines day and holy fuck how do you girls afford this shit

$80 for eye shadow???

is it made out of unicorn shit

what is naked 3

why is it called naked

will it make her look naked

why is it $50

that’s 50 cheese burgers

i can’t deal with make up good bye

(Source: asian, via iamthewhitegirl)


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abomasnow:

ignoranthipster:

abomasnow:

what if a follower transferred to your school just to try and get close to you

i would actually do this *creeper alert*

you realize that isn’t quirky or cute this is the kind of stuff horror movies are made of

(via iamthewhitegirl)


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kingsleyyy:

I like to hangout with people that make me forget to look at my phone

(via iamthewhitegirl)


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dutchster:

"this pizza is gonna go straight to my butt" i say as i grab the pizza and slap it against my butt

(via iamthewhitegirl)


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didgeridood:

hardcorebrownie:

didgeridood:

hardcorebrownie:

didgeridood:

hardcorebrownie:

I BROKE MY CAPS LOCK BUTTON HELP ME

have you tried turning it off and back on again

I HIT IT REALLY HARD AND STILL HASN’T TURNED OFF

there is no need to shout ma’am. have you tried turning it off and back on

I AM NOT SHOUTING

IT DOESN’T TURN OFF

ma’am, ma’am, have you tried turning it on & off again

(via iamthewhitegirl)


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cybuggin:

one time i was swimming in a spring in florida and everybody started screaming and getting out of the water and i was like haha losers aint nothing in this water and so i climbed up on a rock to sit, but then the rock started moving and thats the story of the time i rode a manatee

(Source: charlottelabouff, via iamthewhitegirl)


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tastytessa:

IM CRYING AHAHSHS
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the-sarcastic-robot:

drugs-in-ur-coffee:

selfish-cunts:

dqdbpb:

angelina jolie’s daughter

image

and gwen stefani’s son

image

both so cute 

Parenting done right

ugh. this is so wrong. how can you support someone letting their kid wear socks on grass. do you know how hard it is to wash those stains out?

I thought I was going to have to yell at someone for being a close minded asswipe but that was the biggest plot twist of my life. 

(via fuckah0lic)


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